Do you feel stuck or in a rut? Instead of moving forward, it feels as though you are trapped in a pothole. You appear to be living what most would call the perfect life, but deep down, you still feel unfulfilled. You may have a good job, a great relationship, a beautiful family and amazing friends, but you feel stuck, and like something is missing in your life. You want to be doing more with your life and you want more for your life, but you can’t seem to get out of that funk. This is something we’re all challenged with at one time or another in our lives. We all go through those periods in our lives where we feel stuck or in a rut and we don’t know how to get out of that mindset and how to start taking action. If you’re running on autopilot or going through the motions, there are ways you can get unstuck.
In today’s episode, we are going to figure out why you may be feeling stuck and help you identify the root cause of your feelings. I will share some really basic ideas that can help you narrow down your strategies to regain your sense of purpose and create that forward momentum you need to start over again, feeling more motivated, productive, creative and inspired to get you going on those very things you have been putting off.
In this Episode
1:11 – Introduction
5:40 – Setting yourself up
13:29 – People pleasers
19:59 – Impact of overwhelm
NEW CCM BOOK
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith is excited to announce the release of her new book “Singing Contemporary Commercial Music Styles: A Pedagogical Framework” published by Compton Publications UK. Marisa offers this book as a starting point and as CCM markets continue to evolve, she encourages that we, as a voice community, continue to evolve, debate and communally add to this framework.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 00:00
Hi, It’s Marissa Lee here and I’m so excited to be sharing today solo round episode with you. Whether you’re a member of the voice community, or beyond your voice is your unique gift. And my mission, which has been inspired by my own personal and professional journey is to empower you to share your gift with others. Now is the time for you to discover your voice in life, develop a positive mindset, and become the best and most authentic version of yourself to create greater impact. Ultimately, you can take charge, and you can become the director of your own life. It’s time for you to live your best live. It’s time now, for a voice and beyond. So, without further ado, let’s go to today’s episode.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 01:11
How often do you begin an important task and then suddenly find yourself standing in front of the coffee machine? Five minutes later? Ask yourself, do you feel as though you’re going nowhere fast. Instead of moving forward, it feels like you’re stuck. When you could be doing way more with your life. Be honest here. Does this sound familiar to you? You’re feeling stuck. And this is causing you to feel stressed, and you’re barely coping with life right now. You know, you’re living what most would call a good life, but you still feel unfulfilled inside. You’re telling yourself, it’s okay. I’ve got a good job. I’ve got a good relationship. I’ve got a good family, I’ve got a good thing going on in my life. But I still feel stuck. like something is missing in my life. There’s something I’m not doing that I know I’m supposed to be doing right now. You do want to break through to that next chapter in your life, achieve more, feel the alignment, and you can’t work out why you can’t find the edge to get unstuck. Maybe you’re one of those people living for the weekends and you’re dreading the days in between. If that’s you and you’re feeling stuck in your life, don’t be hard on yourself. This is something we’re all challenged with at one time or another in our lives. We all go through periods in our lives where we feel like we might be stuck or in a terrible rut, then there are days we feel like we’re just going through the motions. We’re simply treading water. These feelings can be so frustrating. But for as long as humans have been around, we’ve all struggled with things like delaying, avoiding being stuck and procrastinating on the things that really matter to us. Everyone feels stuck in life at some point. And maybe this is coming from being in a job that doesn’t stimulate you. Or being in an unfulfilling relationship, or just having a general sense of feeling indifferent. Whatever it is, if you’re running on autopilot, or going through the motions, there are ways you can get unstuck. But first, you need to figure out why you’re feeling stuck, and why you’re feeling that way before you can make the changes to improve your mental, physical and emotional health and well being. In today’s episode, we’re going to figure out why you may be feeling stuck and help you identify the root cause of those feelings. I will share with you some really basic ideas that can help you narrow down your strategies to regain your sense of purpose and create that forward momentum. You need to start all over again, having you feel more motivated, productive, creative and inspired to get you going on that very thing that you’ve been putting off. We only get one shot at this life. And we’re here for a short time, not a long time and we want to make it a good time, we want to make it the most fulfilling time and not a waste of time. When you waste something, you know, you’d never ever get it back. But let’s get you investing in yourself to create the future that you want the future that you will value. Let’s get you adding value to your life and reaping the rewards that return from your future actions.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 05:40
Did you know how you set yourself up in the mornings will make a difference to your day? Could it be that you’re setting yourself up? To lose the day by not winning in the morning? Do you feel like you are on the backfoot? From the time you wake up? I’d like to ask you a question. Okay, so on a scale from one to 10? How effective is your morning routine? And how effective is it in helping you build the life that you want? Where would you rate at right now from one through to 10? Be honest, where are you at? Perhaps you have a morning routine, but it’s not producing the results you want. You still feel stuck. Or perhaps you have some clarity, and you’ve got some habits in place already around your morning routine. But it’s still not enough, you still feel stuck, you’re still not creating the relationships you want. You’re not feeling that certain way that you want to feel daily or consistently. You’re not creating the financial career opportunities you want. You just kind of feel like I’m doing all these things, but it’s just not working. Or perhaps you don’t have a morning routine at all. You tell yourself, you’re too busy, you barely have time to grab a cup of coffee when you get up. The excuse I love is that I’m just not a morning person, please, you’re talking to someone who can’t even focus for the first hour of waking up and I have a morning routine. So did you know that 92% of people with a morning routine consider themselves highly productive, and people with a morning routine, have less stress. So if you’re feeling stuck in your life, you need to cut out those lame excuses. They don’t work on me. Because I’m telling you, when you give yourself a simple structure in the morning, it can transform the rest of your day. And these things compound over time. So if you never take care of what you need to in the morning, and continue to faff around every day, it’s going to compound. So even if you start off by just something little each day, a small change one new thing, it’s going to compound in a positive way. Where most people fail with their morning routines is trying to do too much. taking on too much thinking that it needs to be super complicated. People think they need to follow the 6am Club, the 5am Club, the 3:30am Club, where you have to work out for two hours, or you have to jump in an ice tub for 20 minutes. And I have to do this thing, something whatever it is, all these different things people say they have to do it’s like they have found the holy grail of morning routines and thinking that it needs to be complicated for it to work for them. This will end up sabotaging this whole idea of having a morning routine because no one will no one in their right minds has this kind of time or desire to do all these different things. What you can do is start by journaling. Try something simple. This is one of the best things you can do in the morning for clarity, stress release, giving you the perspective you need and so much more. Journaling doesn’t have to be oh I have to sit here and write 1000 pages NO NO NO another.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 09:56
It can be as simple as writing some bullet points or a list of things You want to release from your life. things you’re grateful for setting your intentions for the day and writing those things you truly want to focus on. Simple, keep it simple, it doesn’t need to take any longer than 10 minutes. And you could do this while you’re eating breakfast. It is also beneficial to do some reading for inspiration and working on your own personal development. When it comes to reading, keep this simple to it doesn’t mean that you have to read a full book in the mornings, try setting a goal to read maybe 10 pages or instead of reading, go listen to a podcast such as this one, of course, or an audio book, you can do this in the car, or on the bus. Or better still, you can do this while you’re walking. Once again, keep it simple. I love listening to a podcast or an audio book while I drive. It makes the trip so much more enjoyable. And I feel amazing. By the time I get to work. It really puts me in a great mindset to get myself going for the rest of the day. Another thing I love doing in the mornings is meditating, because I feel it’s my way of releasing all my stress from the day before. I think of my brain as a filing cabinet. And when it gets full, my stress levels go through the roof. There is no room for me to take on another thing. meditation helps me alleviate that feeling of overwhelm and any emotional baggage from the day before. You may say, Well, I see all these monks meditating for two hours that 2am. And you know what my sleep is more important than that? Yes, sleep is so important. So people, you don’t have to get up at 2am. And you don’t have to spend hours doing this stuff. That’s just another example of where I see people go to the extreme. I usually meditate as soon as my alarm goes off when I’m still half asleep. And in that state of bliss. I simply keep my headphones near the bed and find a short 10 to 15 minute meditation, one that really resonates with me in that moment in time, and I go for it. It’s done. And I feel amazing. I feel pumped, but in a very zen way. So don’t you be one of those people who say, I’m going to dive all in and do all these things. And then after three days, you realise there’s no way this is sustainable. I can’t do this. So I suggest, take it slowly. And do what works for you and your schedule. You know, we’re all different, everyone is different. But whatever it is, try doing it consistently. And I promise you, you will reap the rewards.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 13:29
How many of you feel that you are people pleasers, that you need to put everyone else’s happiness before your own? How many of you are always saying yes. Even when you really just want to say no? Are you constantly in situations where you feel like you’re going against your values and your own priorities? If this is you, no wonder you feel stuck. You’re stuck in your own life because you’re riding on everyone else’s needs. You’re putting aside the very things that you need to do right now for others. You’re like, I know I need to work on this research. But I have to get this done for my student. I know I need to recharge this afternoon. But I promised that I would do this for my colleague. You are sacrificing your needs just to make someone else happy. You are constantly going against what you feel you need or those things you need to do on any given day or any given moment. And that’s why you’re feeling stuck. This is the reality of the world we live in for each and every one of us. And by the way, I’m not immune to this either.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 14:58
I have set myself up for the situations and distractions in the past. But I’m slowly getting better at saying no and making a habit of this over time. But I still make mistakes, and I pay the price for it. When I do, I end up feeling overwhelmed, or feeling exhausted during the week, or not feeling like I’m giving my best to the things that I really want to give my best to. Or I end up feeling stuck in life. And that’s the cost for me when I end up saying yes, and putting other people’s needs before my own. So if any of you have experienced this, you need to listen up. You can stop being a people pleaser, and start focusing on your own priorities and get unstuck by learning to say, no research shows and this isn’t rocket science, that many people agree to do things, even things they would prefer not to simply to avoid that terrible discomfort of saying no. So we have this discomfort, this awkward feeling this uncomfortable feeling when we have to say no. And we want to avoid conflict so desperately that we’re prepared to forego our own happiness, our own needs and getting on with the things that are most important to us, or our families or our future. We end up being traitors to ourselves and sabotaging our own lives just wanting to fit in and we’d rather hurt ourselves than upset somebody else. We get our priority. So wrong. I tell you, you see the problem with this right? This makes absolutely no sense. While you’re at it, you also need to ask yourself, how is my life being peopled? Who are the people in your life? What are the relationships in your life? And how nourishing are those? How much do you nourish others? And how much are you being nourished by them in return? The people around you do have an influence on your mindset. When was the last time you did an assessment or an analysis of the people you surround yourself with and the information that’s coming in from them. The me, I am so extremely controlling of all those things in my life. I don’t surround myself with negative people who feed me negative information. Those people make me feel stuck in my life. It’s like garbage in and garbage out. When I turned 40, I did a spring clean of my friends. I know this sounds rather harsh. But when I surround myself with negative people, I feel physically ill after a while and they leave me feeling as though I have no energy. I find these people exhausting, and they are a waste of my time and energy. Please don’t think that I am unkind and I’m heartless. But I can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves or are in denial and don’t accept responsibility for their lives. I have zero tolerance for people who play victim, these people hinder your life and stop you from living a life that you want to live. They stop you from following your mission and your path in life, you begin to fall into their trap as negativity spreads like a bushfire that’s out of control. So I’m here to tell you that the opinions of other people don’t matter. Unless it’s coming from someone you highly respect or someone that’s your mentor, who you look up to, and is helping you get to a place where they’re already at and you want to be there with them. Why would you listen to those people who live in the cheap seats of life, the ones who are the quickest to judge but have never actually ever done anything useful with their lives. And they’ve never done what you’re setting out to do. You will find these people or colleagues are not your true allies in life. So it’s time to stop listening to negativity and stop trying to please everybody.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 19:59
Many of us feel stuck because were in overwhelm. Maybe you’re just highly distracted or frustrated, because you don’t know where to focus your efforts, there’s so much going on in your life. This is the time to create priorities. Because sometimes you think I’ve got to do all these different things, and I have to do them perfectly. It’s not always going to be perfect. And you have to let go of that pressure. You don’t want to do a million things all at once. So literally do yourself the favour, relax your mind, smile, you had the opportunities there in front of you, this is a good thing. But you need to create a list and pick the top priorities and knock them off the list one at a time. Give yourself permission to eliminate, to delegate to prioritise to breathe, and to work hard in the moments that you need to and really be grateful that you had the opportunity is there in front of you, you may never, ever have them again. So you don’t want to feel discomfort all the time, but a little here and there is going to make you grow and make you way smarter, because you have the opportunity to say to yourself, ah, I don’t ever want to feel like this again. So what do I need to eliminate? learn that lesson? Who can I delegate this to? These are just a few things you can do to stay positive in the times of overwhelm and feeling stuck. If you need extra support. He know that’s okay. There will be times in your life when you will need to confide in someone you trust, seek a therapist or talk to your doctor. Give yourself permission to ask for help. Give yourself permission also to work hard. Many of us, we give up on ourselves. When we’re overwhelmed. We constantly say I’m overwhelmed, and I’m so stressed. And we beat ourselves up and we become even more stuck. And that’s not helpful when you’re in that situation. Often we’re afraid of messing things up. But it’s okay to work hard. Sometimes. It’s okay to say I’ve got a lot on my plate, now is the time to bunker down and sacrifice and work hard and push past your comfort zone. You’re not always going to have the perfect workload all of the time. There will be days when you will be in overload. And then you will have days when it’s like, ah, there’s only a few things here on my plate for today. Not every day is going to be comfortable. Life is not like that. Be willing to go all in and sacrifice when you have to. There will be seasons when you have to work hard and plant the seeds that will lead you to reaping the benefits. So don’t beat yourself up over it. Change your mindset about these times and get on with it. These times are not going to be every day of every month of every year because that would be way too much overwhelm more than anyone can bear. Don’t beat yourself up. If you feel overwhelmed, just accept that it’s a moment in time and allow yourself to become unstuck.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 24:09
Much of the stuff I’ve talked about today, you’ve already heard before in previous episodes, but I just wanted to give it to you in a clear and concise way. So if you’re feeling stuck in life, it’s time to create a morning routine that will help you win back your day. Look at those people you surround yourself with and stop being a people pleaser. And lastly, start prioritising those things that are most important to you. All these things will help you become unstuck. I promise you. Life is short, my friend. You don’t want to live with regret. You only have one shot at this life and it’s time to live every day.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 25:00
It’s time to feel that aliveness have that energy, that zest and do all those things that matter to you. Invest in yourself, your life, those you care about and serve your mission. Take charge and lead the charge in your own life. Because you are worth that you are worthy. You are worth the effort. Always have been and always will be.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 25:34
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of voice and beyond. I hope you enjoyed it as now is an important time for you to invest in your own self care, personal growth and education. Use every day as an opportunity to learn and to grow so you can show up feeling empowered and ready to live your best life. If you know someone who will also be inspired by this episode, please be sure to copy and paste the link and share it with them. Or share it on social media and use the hashtag a voice and beyond. I promise you I am committed to bringing you more inspiration and conversations just like this one every week. And if you would like to help me please rate and review this podcast and cheer me on by clicking the subscribe button on Apple podcast right now. I would also love to know what it is that you most enjoyed about this episode and what was your biggest takeaway? Please take care and I look forward to your company next time on the next episode have a voice and beyond