Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 00:00
Hi, It’s Marisa Lee here and I’m so excited to be sharing today solo round episode with you. Whether you’re a member of the voice community, or beyond your voice is your unique gift. And my mission, which has been inspired by my own personal and professional journey is to empower you to share your gift with others. Now is the time for you to discover your voice in life, develop a positive mindset, and become the best and most authentic version of yourself to create greater impact. Ultimately, you can take charge, and you can become the director of your own life, it’s time for you to live your best live. It’s time now, for a voice and beyond. So, without further ado, let’s go to today’s episode. Over the past few years, all of us have had our lives thrown into chaos in one way or another. And we’ve all had to navigate a life that has been way out of our control. Every day has brought with it the unknown. And this can be really challenging pandemic or not, on any given day, so many of us already have to deal with our own fears, our struggles, our challenges, and our demons. I can tell you, I have those demons too. We all do. If we’re honest with ourselves, we all have that moment from time to time, where we struggle with our fears, and that struggle is real. Personally, my life has been derailed a number of times over the past few years. And I’ve had no control over many of these situations. I’ve had little choice but to face my fears head on.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 02:19
One of the most significant moments was the loss of my mum last year. Not only have I had to go through the grieving process, but my fear was also real. It was the fear of how do I navigate life without my mom? How do I live with that my mom in my life, who is going to hug me and love me in the way my mum did. All of this has been so scary for me. But I’ve had to confront those fears, those tiny voices that keep piping up and throwing doubt in my head about the future. And what that looks like without her. Just not knowing how to face my new normal. But from time to time, everyone has that tiny voice that pipes up within them and says there’s no point or it’s all too hard. Or this is too much for me, or I’m too scared to speak up. Can you relate to any of this? Are you letting fear hold you back? Unfortunately, that very fear is what stops us from not only having what we want in life, but what we absolutely truly deserve. There must come a time when we need to stop listening to those voices in our head, the very ones that are holding us back from leading the life of our dreams, hitting those goals, the career that we want, and the person we dream of becoming. You can’t let these voices dictate your life. You can’t allow your fear to become a constant lifelong companion walking beside you. We all need to find ways to move forward and let go because living a courageous life. One free from fear is one of the best ways to succeed in every aspect of our lives. With each action of courage, standing up for what you value, speaking up for yourself and for those who don’t have a voice and taking action not only in your life, but in order to help others. You are not only creating a better life for yourself, but for the people you love and care for As you begin to live more courageously in your life, know that your actions speak volumes. So don’t allow the fear of what could happen, and what might happen keep you stuck in life. We all have the capacity to live an extraordinary life of joy, success, vitality, and achievement. And in this episode, we’re going to look at the ways you can step up your courage and stop allowing your fears to dictate your life. I’m going to walk you through three steps that will help you let go of fear by changing your mindset around fear. I will show you ways you can stop thinking of fear as a weakness or a bad thing, and how you can start looking at your fear as an opportunity to learn more about who you are, and why you might be afraid of stepping outside your comfort zone. It’s time to embrace the virtue of courage and stop letting fear hold you back.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 06:22
Start by acknowledging your fears, this makes total sense. How can you let go of your fears if you don’t know what your fears are. So you must start by acknowledging these fears before you can let go of them. And acknowledging fear is scary. And it can be really difficult. But we need to start by identifying the very fears that are holding us back and admitting to ourselves that they are impacting our lives. It’s only when we do that, that we can start to conquer those fears and move on. This takes courage. And courage means that you’re choosing to acknowledge your fear, it doesn’t mean that you’ve eliminated that fear. Many of us think that when we have courage, we don’t have fear and vice versa. We believe that the two do not and cannot coexist, but in reality, you are allowing the two to live side by side. Okay, this may sound a little woowoo. Okay, so I will share a secret here and give you an example of how courage lives alongside one of my fears. I’ve always had the fear of flying. I used to be really afraid of flying. I used to get so nervous on a plane that I would hang on to my seat the whole time I was up in the air. I can’t even begin to tell you what my fear level escalated to if there was turbulence, oh my gosh, I would be so so scared, my heart would race and my hands would become so sweaty that I couldn’t hang on to my seat anymore. But my overwhelming joy and excitement of travel always kicked in when I was about to fly anywhere. My fear was still there. But my love of travelling to new places, especially overseas or to visit my family interstate allowed me to step up my courage. I didn’t want to miss out on those trips. So I would find the courage to get on that plane. So did finding the courage to fly mean that I was no longer fearful of flying at that time. No, it doesn’t. This is an example when we take action in spite of fear. We’re showing courage and the two are coexisting inside of us in that instance, in this example, choosing to fly, whether it’s subconsciously or not. I am acknowledging my fear, but I’m not going to give into it or let it control me. After all the flying I’ve done, I’m in a much better place and it’s helped me deal with that fear. Thankfully, however, there are some fears we do outgrow and learn to overcome, such as mine with flying while others stay with us for a lifetime, such as my fear of spiders and don’t even get me started on this. No matter what we have to face our fears head on to move on from them, rather than minimising your fear or denying that it exists. recognise what it is that is holding you back, you might find that if you take the time to acknowledge what your fear is, and understand why it’s there that you will find ways to overcome it. So start acknowledging your fears by either writing them down or sharing them with a supportive friend. This way, you’re empowering yourself to be courageous in spite of being fearful. Remember, voicing your fears doesn’t make you weak. This takes courage.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 10:47
Owning your fear, you need to own up to your fears. So once you’ve acknowledged them, you must own them take responsibility for them. I know, owning up to that fear opens the door to many scary possibilities. It’s okay. Everyone’s afraid of something. And when we face our fears, we’re admitting that there’s something inside of us that’s holding us back. And let’s face it, that’s a really hard thing to admit. Well, I find it hard to admit. But I still take ownership of that fear. In my case, launching this podcast put me right inside of my own fear zone. This was a huge deal for me, because I’d never done anything like this before. And the fear of failure was a real thing. Think about it. I was putting myself out there in so many ways to a community that I belong to. And I had no clue what I was doing. When I first started. I feared anything and everything that could possibly go wrong. Besides that, I had to own up to that fear of judgement, what others would think about me, the content, the format, the intro music, basically anything and everything that related to the podcast, there was the fear of rejection of me being authentic, honest and vulnerable. As I share my life and my experiences with my listeners. This was massive for me, as I’m an extremely proud and private person, but I just owned up to it. I owned up to my fears, and I allowed myself to be totally real on the show. What you hear is what you get, this is the real me, whether people like me or not. And here we are over 100 episodes later. You see, in that moment in time, I had a choice to either allow my fears to stop me from doing something that was so important to me, both personally and professionally, or to live with regret. By owning up to those fears, it’s allowed me to work through them, and to step up my courage. And thank goodness because this is the first creative project I’ve seriously delved into since giving up my performance career. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do something creative, that allows me to use my voice to serve others, to impact others. It has become my passion and my purpose. And I cannot tell you the joy and the sense of fulfilment, it brings me each and every day. My lesson learned throughout this process is that owning your fear is a choice. And when you do, you are more in control of both your life and your destiny. I’ve also learned that it’s important to maintain a healthy perspective and don’t beat yourself up over your fears. Fear doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Own those fears and sees them as an opportunity to learn and to become better at what you do. Allow your fears to refine you, not to define you. Life has taught me this lesson over and over again through trauma loss and grief. There have been so many times I have been really fearful about my future. I’ve had to own those fears, and be kind to myself and tell myself that I’m not some kind of superhero I’d rather I am human, and anyone would have been scared in those situations. I owned my fears. And I’ve drawn strength from those experiences because of them. I’ve learned to never, ever give up. And especially never, ever give up on myself. Not every day is the perfect day. And in those imperfect moments, give yourself time to slow down, step back, and acknowledge the role that fear plays in your life. and own it. Use it as a warning light, or as a wake up call that is inviting you to choose courage over your fear.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 15:57
Ask more for what you want. Now is the time to learn to ask. If you’ve ever been afraid to ask for help, because you fear that you will be perceived as being weak or incapable. You aren’t the only one. It’s a sad irony that it’s during the times we most need help that we don’t have the courage to ask for it. That sense of being too proud to ask for help is practically embedded in our DNA as humans. And I can admit, I am so bad at asking for anything in my life. I was raised in a migrant household where this sense of pride and this struggle of asking for help was real. My parents who arrived from Italy with nothing except the clothes on their backs, survived by being self reliant, and hard working. Sometimes I could see my parents struggle. But they were ashamed to seek help, especially anything to do with finances. They were afraid for fear of hearing those crashing words. You made your bed now lie in it, or I told you so or Serves you right? And these are the words we’re all afraid of. We’d rather not speak up then be smothered by shame, guilt, or the ridicule from others. But you know, what I’ve learned in my life is that it’s okay to ask for help, because eventually everyone has their own battles to endure. So instead of feeling vulnerable and ashamed, we all need to learn that we should not be fearful of asking. Even Good leaders know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, rather a sign of courage. In fact, when leaders can’t admit they need help, that lack of humility actually becomes an obstacle that hinders progress in their communities. It takes a village and a tribe to create something wonderful and a brilliant leader knows this. They know they can’t be self reliant, and they’re not fearful or too proud to outsource when something is beyond their skill set. The important thing here is that none of us has to do life alone. You are not in it by yourself. So you don’t need to feel that you’re going through stuff on your own all of the time. There will be times in your life when you will need to confide in someone you trust. Give yourself permission to ask for that help. Cultivate your network, your tribe. Surround yourself with role models of quietly courageous people. Work at building those relationships, invest time and energy into others and they will do the same for you. Once you find your tribe, and those people you connect with your life will be so much richer for it. Learn to express yourself with real words explicitly and consistently with those people. Ask for what you really need and get better at doing all of this. And stop letting fear hold you back.
Dr Marisa Lee Naismith 19:57
Life can be so stressful Yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect all of the time. Bad days and setbacks will always happen. And it’s important to remember, you know, life is rather messy. It’s all about how we deal with it. One of the best ways to move through life is by letting go of fear. Don’t let your fear hold you back. This takes courage. And once you embrace courage, it leads you to believe in your abilities even more. Moving through life with courage allows you to see the world from a different perspective. It gives you the power to chase after the things that are important to you. It will help you change your perspective from a negative to a positive mindset. Life holds so much joy, even amongst the angst of the day to day and you need to start focusing on the positives in your life, not life. And not anyone is ever going to be perfect at everything all of the time. It’s time to start celebrating those positives in your life and become your own cheerleader. Recognise the effort it took to overcome your fears, and celebrate those wins. You had to get you where you’re at right now, in this moment in time. Reflect on them, especially during those times when you’re feeling fearful or that you’re lacking the courage you need. As you begin to live more courageously in your life. Know that your actions will speak volumes. Keep pushing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone consistently. Don’t let your fear hold you back. I’m saying it time and time again. You only have one chance at this life. Without question, the life you want is worth the effort. You are worth it, you are worth the effort. Always have been and always will be. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of a voice and beyond. I hope you enjoyed it as now is an important time for you to invest in your own self care, personal growth and education. Use every day as an opportunity to learn and to grow so you can show up feeling empowered and ready to live your best life. If you know someone who will also be inspired by this episode, please be sure to copy and paste the link and share it with them. Or share it on social media and use the hashtag a voice and beyond. I promise you I am committed to bringing you more inspiration and conversations just like this one every week. And if you’d like to help me, please rate and review this podcast and cheer me on by clicking the subscribe button on Apple podcast right now. I would also love to know what it is that you most enjoyed about this episode and what was your biggest takeaway? Please take care and I look forward to your company next time on the next episode of a voice and beyond.